Honestly, do we not sometimes wish that another person could read our thoughts? And at the same time, it’s pure stress when others expect it of us. Get real! Talking is easier.
For years I’ve been waiting for my husband to surprise me with something nice. From a candlelight dinner to an outing, a surprise party to a picnic in the country, everything would have been fine for me. Of course I couldn’t have said that, because then it wouldn’t have been his idea anymore. What? Today I find my thoughts about it just funny. In 28 years of relationship I have understood that he is not the type for such actions. But he has many other beautiful ways to express his love. Even in the best marriage, mind reading doesn’t work. By the way, I am even worse at it than he is.
However, I know of many partnerships in which the desire for a psychic partner has still not been buried. “If only he could just once…”, “Can’t she see…?” or “I’m sure he can.” Aaargh. No, they just can’t. But there is a very simple solution: Just say what you want. Okay, then it’s no longer a surprise. And true, then it didn’t come from the other one. But honestly, it’s not going to happen anyway if the person isn’t the type.
Some people are “surprises”, others are not. Some are “touchy feely,” some are not. Some see mess for themselves, others need to be reminded to put their stuff away. But that doesn’t mean they’re not willing to do it from time to time if you just ask them.
In other configurations, the same applies. Colleagues at work can drive you crazy if they don’t notice that they talk too loud on the phone, leave their papers everywhere or don’t offer to help when you are so overwhelmed. Asking for help or talking about things that bother you might be the more direct way, right?
But what if your colleague, friend or partner expects you to have psychic abilities? In my experience, it helps to keep offering, “Tell me what I can do for you.” If the other one then doesn’t, it’s not your problem.
In closer constellations such as marriage or family, it is certainly also good to train empathy as the “little sister of mind reading”. With this you can help people who do not dare to ask for something. Often you can see that something is bothering them, or you can hear in their words or hesitation that something is going on. In such a case, just ask: “Really? Are you sure you don’t need help?”. But in the end it is still the decision of the other person. If they don’t respond to an offer, it is the decision of an adult person. Later complaints are not accepted. Simple, isn’t it?
My coaching sessions often deal with relationship issues. That’s why I write about them every now and then. You can find further input on this in my free e-book “Einfach Besser Leben”. Download it right here (at the bottom of the page).